


I'm Never Letting You Go

by styles_sunshine



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:06:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24137836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styles_sunshine/pseuds/styles_sunshine
Relationships: John Taylor (Duran Duran)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 8





	I'm Never Letting You Go

1983  
How was she there? In a boiling hot, stuffy wardrobe in a hotel and for what? To get an autograph for her sister not even for herself? She didn't even care for Duran Duran that much anyway, so why did she agree to wait here for 3 hours for her sisters benefit? "Please, Jules. For me! You're way thinner than I am and you could fit in there! It won't even be for that long just wait till he gets in the room then jump out, ask for the autograph and get out of there! This might be my only shot of ever getting his autograph, Jules, please!" Her sister Olivia had begged her tirelessly the day before. At 24, she was 4 years older than Julianna and was larger in proportions. She also cared too much for her appearance, and wouldnt be found dead in an old hotel wardrobe ("It would play havoc with my perm!"). She was small and perfectly formed with gorgeously sunkissed skin and voluptuous curves that were to die for, not to mention her long curly locks that were her pride and joy. Julianna, on the other hand, was taller and skinnier with legs that went on for miles with only a slight dip between her hips and her flat stomach. She wore large, thin rimmed glasses and had straight, golden quite plain hair, which on this occasion was tied back in a ponytail. She didnt care much for makeup or vanity, but always made sure she looked presentable. She cursed her long legs as she hugged her knees against her chest in the cramped space. 

Simon Le Bon. What was he like French or something? She honestly was so confused as to what her sisters fuss was all about. He was all she ever talked about and her bedroom was plastered with his face. If Julianna had to pick one of them, it would be the tall bass player. God what was his name now? "John. JOHN! Wrong room mate, you're in 203. Simon swapped. Hope you don't mind" A loud voice called out from outside and Julianna's heart began to race. 203 was the room she was in. "Nah, it's no bother. Cheers Nick" A softer Birmingham accent replied from outside the door along with the jangling of keys. Then the unlocking of the door. 

Julianna realised she hadn't actually breathed in about 5 minutes so she breathed out in what she hoped was a quiet manner, but turned out to be a huge sigh. Lucky for her, it appeared to get lost in the noise of the rest of the band rambling down the corridor to their rooms, laughing and joking. John closed the door to the room and let out a sigh of his own. Julianna could hear him padding around the room through the wood of the wardrobe. She had almost lured herself into a false sense of security when she suddenly was faced with the unavoidable feeling to need to sneeze. And she did. Now even if the whole band would have decided to trek back down the corridor, it would have been hard not to hear that one. "Uhm, Hello? Is someone in here" John said, in a confused tone. Silence. "I, urm, heard you sneeze" He added more quietly. Julianna was terrified. What on earth was she supposed to do now? 

"I'm in the wardrobe" (yeah probably not that) she said and clasped her hand over her mouth. Suddenly the wardrobe door flung over and light flooded in as she was face to face with John. "What are you doing in there then, eh love?" He asked and he actually chuckled. Unable to speak, Julianna shrugged her shoulders. He smiled again and held out his hand in a gentleman like manner to help her out of the wardrobe. Once she had climbed out, she had chance to look him up and down properly. He really was as tall as he was on TV. He had a fluffy mullet which was brown with a blonde fringe. He was wearing a red jacket rolled up to his elbows with matching pants and a button down shirt opened to the waist exposing his smooth chest that she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from. She looked up through her thick lenses to see him checking her up and down as well, and she instantly regretted wearing her old dungarees and rainbow top. He smiled down at her "So are you going to tell me what you were doing in there, love?" She blushed furiously at the pet name, despite the fact she knew he was English and they call everyone 'Love'. 

"I...um thought this...Simon was supposed to be um....and I just....your not him" She managed to string those few words together and wanted the ground to swallow her up. John gave her a false sad look "Oh so you're a Simon girl. Not a fan of mine then, I see how it is". She giggled and clapped her hand over her face, God it was so embarrassing when she did that. She was 20 years old with a job and an apartment and yet she still giggled like a 4 year old at the stupidest of things. John's hand softly took her hand away from her face "Don't cover up, its cute" he said and crinkled his eyes as he smiled and they just looked at each other for what seemed to be hours.

"So why were you trying to get in Simon's wardrobe anyway? You're not one of those mental fans are you?" He asked, breaking the silence. "My sister is. She's going to your show tomorrow night. She wanted me to sneak in and get Simon's autograph for her. She's mad on him." She replied and he laughed, running his hands through his hair. "Well I can't help you much there, love. I can sign it for you as well if you want. What is it you actually want signing again?" He asked and she blushed as she unrolled the large poster of Simon wearing no shirt and some shorts that left very little to the imagination. "Oh Shit! I've brought the wrong one!" She said slapping her hand against her forehead. John nearly choked "There's others?" He laughed and took the poster to have a closer look. "And she has this on her wall does she?" Julianna nodded silently. As she felt the sleeve of his jacket sweep against her bare arm it left a trail of goosebumps and she shivered. What was wrong with her? She was probably just getting a fever. 

"How old is she, then?" He asked. "24" She replied, fiddling with the strap on her dungarees. "And, urm, how old are you?" He asked, still not taking his eyes away from the poster. Julianna was glad. That way he couldn't see the scarlet blush that had once again crept up her cheeks. "I'm 20" She finally said, and she could have swore she saw him smirk. "How old are you?" She asked and inwardly kicked herself. It was at this moment she wished she was a fan then she would have known. "Me? I'm 23" He replied, as he rolled the poster back up and handed it back to her. She took it and his hand brushed against hers, they both snapped their heads up to look at each other in disbelief- neither Julianna nor John had actually let go of the poster. John relented and coughed "Well, I'll take you to Simon if you want so you can get that signed" Julianna looked shyly at her feet "Thanks" He walked over to the door and turned the handle but it wouldn't open. He tried again and this caught Julianna's attention. "What's up?" She asked. John tried the handle more harshly "It's jammed! We can't get out!" He said, holding his hand to his temple. "I'll call reception" Julianna helpfully suggested as John went to sit on the bed.

It had been an 2 hours since Julianna had rang reception for the first time. They had rang back to the room 20 minutes later to inform her that the locksmith was in high demand at the moment so would be there in about 5 hours. Julianna was sat reading the magazine about the hotel at the desk and John was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. They didn't talk. There was nothing to say. As she was reading the page about the hotels breakfast, Julianna began to get pins and needles in her leg so she winced and stood up to try and walk it out. It was as she was limping up and down the room that she noticed John's eyes following her every move. "What?" She said, turning to face him. He looked away shyly and she noticed he looked young. Underneath the makeup and the rumours of debauchery and his public image, he was just a 23 year old young man. He was quite intelligent, Julianna thought, he may have been studying if it weren't for him joining the band. But he was in the right place, from what few sogs she'd heard, she knew he was a very talented bassist and deserved all the love and recognition he was receiving.

"Earth to Julianna!" He said and she snapped out of the daze she was in to see John grinning at her. "Are you going mad stuck in here with me, dear?" He laughed as he got up off the bed and walked over to her. She giggled again, and forgetting John's gentle advice, she put her hand over her mouth. "Love, I already told you not to do that" He said as he moved closer to her. "I know I'm sorry I can't help it!" She shrugged, avoiding his intense gaze by looking to the side. She gasped as a strong yet soft hand cupped her cheek and gently turned her head back to face him. Her heart was beating double time. As if on cue, a long strand of golden her slid from behind her ear and in front of her eyes. He brushed it back to its place and looked her dead in the eye. "Julianna?" He asked. All she could do was murmur in response. "Do you have a boyfriend?" She blinked and replied "No, urm why?" A smile krept up John's cheeks as he said "Because he probably wouldn't be happy if I did this"

And he kissed her. It started off quite harsh and sudden but as it went on, it melted into a smooth, sensual affair. Julianna could barely take in what was happening, his hands were all over her torso and neck and all she could do was go with the flow. He grabbed the straps of her dungarees and pulled her flush against his body. She entangled her hands in his fluffy hair and he gently slipped his tongue into her mouth, exploring everything, relishing her taste. She tasted like strawberries, honey and sweetness. He tasted like smoky whiskey and cigarettes. Julianna liked it, it was comforting as she massaged her tongue against his. Now THIS was passion. She had only kissed 3 boys her entire life before this and none of them came close to John. As his hands ran up and down her back, she could sense where it was going. And she was worried. It wasn't as if she didn't want to have sex with John - she really did, that much was certain- it was herself that caused her the most anxiety. Her first (and only) time had been awful, all rough and tumble on a camp-bed and she didn't even climax. She just wondered when would be a good time to mention to John that she wasn't exactly experienced. Here she was, living out every Duranie's fantasy and yet she was worried. John was a teenage icon, one of the most desired men on the planet and had probably had his fair share of sex. He was probably just going to be fast and quick and it would be over, just another name in his little red book.

They carried on making out for a while until John started attempting to unhook her dungarees. She had felt him growing aroused against her thigh but she prayed that he would ignore it and just kiss for a bit longer and then they could both carry on with their lives, unscathed. He continued to undo one side of her dungarees until the strap fell down, exposing the left side of the rainbow shirt covering her chest. She suddenly felt very childish and bashful. His hand slid down her side and rested on her hip. He had noticed she was slightly jumpy and uncertain "Are you ok, love? I can stop if you want." He asked, concerned "Yes, I'm fine" She replied curtly, not meeting his gaze. "If you don't mind me asking, how many times have y'know done 'it' before?" He said, and then amended it "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to!" Julianna was quite shocked at his caring and careful tone, she thought it would all be over by now and she would be putting her clothes back on, unfulfilled. "Urm well, I urm you see it's just I urm" She looked up, half expecting to see him checking his watch but no, he was listening intently. "Its ok, take your time" He smiled as he sat down on the edge of the bed and motioned for her to do the same.

"Well, I'm not a virgin. I have had sex but only once. I was just on a camp bed and quick and rough and um..." She blushed profusely "...painful" She almost whispered the last word but John nodded in understanding. "That's awful. First times should be special, not rushed and shit. Did you y'know urm come?" He asked her, a slight blush ripening his cheeks as well "No. Well I mean, I wouldn't know if I did" She said and waited for him to laugh at her for being a baby but he didn't. He shook his head and said "We're going to have to do something about that then love" He swung his leg over her and pushed her backwards so he was on top of her

"Easy on me. Alright?" Her voice was soft, and nervous. He nodded and attached their lips. She closed her eyes and let him control their speed. It was slow, harsh, and heated as he sucked on her bottom lip. She gasped and his tongue seeped into her mouth, tangling his with hers. She pressed her chest to his John's left hand squeezed her waist and the other hand held onto her neck. She loved the ways his hands felt on her body. They were strong, secure. She slid her hands under his open shirt. Her fingers grazed his skin. He felt a shudder as her warm hands contrasted against his cold skin. She moaned as he kissed her neck hungrily. John was aroused by her scent. Jasmine. He switched positions to have her stand. The pain is so sweet and sharp she wanted to close her eyes, but she was hypnotized by his brown eyes staring fervently into hers. Leaning down, he kissed Julianna. His lips were demanding, firm and slow, molding hers. He placed feather- like kisses across her jaw, her chin, and the corners of her mouth.

He murmured unintelligibly, and both of his hands were in her hair, grasping each side of her head. His kiss was demanding, his tongue and lips coaxing hers. Holly moaned, and her tongue tentatively met  
his. He put his arms around her and hauled her against his body, squeezing her tightly. One hand remaines in her hair, the other traveled down her spine to her waist and down to her behind. His hand flexed over her backside and squeezed gently. He held her against his hips, and she felt his  
erection, which he languidly pushed against her. She moaned once more into his mouth. Julianna could hardly contain the riotous feelings.. Or was it hormones  
that rampaged through her body. Gripping his upper arms, she felt his biceps, he was  
surprisingly strong... muscular. Tentatively, she moved her hands up to his face and into his hair. It was so soft, unruly. She tugged gently, and he groaned. He eased her toward the bed, until she felt it behind her knees. She thought he was going to push her down on to it, but he didn't. 

Releasing her, he suddenly dropped to his knees. John slid the dungarees down her legs and off her feet, exposing her stomach. He noticed the long gashes along her lower torso and his heart sank - he knew that she'd done this to herself. How could someone so beautiful have so much self hatred? Most of them were healing but some were recent. He grabbed her hips with both his hands and gently kissed the scars he saw. Lips pressed against her navel and skin, he then gently nipped his way to her hipbone, then across to her other hipbone. She gasped. He smirked and kissed her inner thigh. She sharply inhaled. Seeing him on his knees in front of her, feeling his mouth on her, it was so unexpected. Her hands stayed in his hair, pulling gently as she tried to breathe more quietly so as not to arouse suspicion from people walking down the corridor outside and in the rooms around them. John gazed up at Julianna through impossibly long lashes. She could not look away. 

He stopped and licked his lips, never breaking eye contact. He reached up and tugged the duvet off the bed, then  
pushed her gently so she fell on to the mattress. "Oh Julianna , what I could do to you," he whispered. She lay on his bed naked as he stared down at her. "You're very beautiful, Julianna. I can't wait to  
be inside you." Her cheeks flushed in surprise at his blunt words. Regardless of her scars, every flaw just made him even more attracted to her. "Keep still," he murmured , and then he leant down and  
kissed the inside of her thigh, trailing kisses up her belly, and his tongue dipped into her navel. Still he headed north, kissing her across her torso. Her skin was burning, she was flushed, too hot, too cold, and she was clawing at the sheet beneath her. He lay down beside her, and his hand trailed up from her hip, to her waist, and up to her breast. 

John gazed down at her, his expression unreadable, and gently cupped her breast. "You fit in my hand pertectly" He murmured. His finger moved to her other breast and repeated the process. Her breasts swelled, and her nipples hardened under his steady gaze. He blew very gently on one as his hand moved to her other breast, and his thumb slowly rolled the end of her nipple, elongating it. Julianna groaned, as she felt the sweet sensation travel all the way to her groin. Her fingers clasped the sheet tighter. His lips closed around her other nipple and when he tugged she nearly convulsed."Let's see if we can make you come like this," he whispered, continuing his slow, sensual handywork. Her nipples bore the delicious brunt of his deft fingers and lips, setting alight every single nerve ending in her body so that her whole body sung with sweet agony.

He just didn't stop. "Oh... please," Julianna begged and she pulled her head back, her mouth open as she groaned, her legs stiffening. "Let go, love," he murmured. His teeth closed around her nipple, and his thumb and finger pulled hard, and she fell apart in his hands, her body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces. John kissed Julianna, deeply, his tongue absorbing her cries. He gazed down at her with a satistied smile on his face as she came down from her high. "You are very responsive," he breathed and kissed her again. Her breathing was still ragged as she nodded. 

His hand moved down her waist, to her hips, and then cupped her intimately. His finger slipped through and slowly circled around her. Briefly he closed his eyes, and his breath hitched. "You're so fucking wet. God, I want you!" He thrusted his finger inside her, and Julianna cried out as he did it again and again. He palmed her clit, and she cried out once more even louder, all her self control had been abolished. He pushed inside her harder and harder still. She groaned. Somewhere in the process, he had lost his shirt and pants and he pulled off his briefs, his erection spranf free. He moved between her legs, spreading them further apart. He knelt up and she saw his considerable length. "Don't worry," he whispered, his eyes on her, "I'll be gentle." He leant down, his hands on either side of her head, so he was hovering over Julianna, staring down into her eyes, his jaw clenched, eyes burning. "You really want to do this?" he asked softly. "Please" she begged.

"Pull your knees up" he ordered softly as he rolled a condom down his length, and she was quick to obey. "I'm going to fuck you now, Julianna" he murmured as he positioned the head of his erection at her entrance. "Hard," he whispered, and he slammed into her. She winced as she felt a harsh pinching sensation deep inside her as he pushed languidly into her. John was still, gazing down at Julianna, his eyes were bright with ecstatic triumph. He had her. She was his. His mouth was open slightly, and his breathing was harsh. "You're so tight. Are you okay?" His voice was hushed and breathless. She nodded, her eyes wide, hands on his forearms. He stayed still, letting her acclimatize to the intrusive, overwhelming feeling of him inside her. "I'm going to move, love," he breathed after a moment, his voice was tight. He eased back with exquisite slowness. And he closed his eyes and groaned, and thrusted into her again. She cried out a second time, and he stilled again. "More? he whispered, his voice raw with lust. "Yes," She breathed. He did it once more, and stilled once again. She groaned ."Again?" He asked."Yes." It was plea. And he moved but this time he didn't stop. He shifted onto his elbows so she could feel his weight on her, holding her down. John moved slowly at first, easing himself in and out of Julianna. And as she grew accustomed to the foreign feeling, her hips moved tentatively to meet his as he sped up.

She moaned, and he pounded on, picking up speed, merciless, a relentless rhythm, and Julianna kept up, meeting his thrusts. John grasped her head between his hands and kissed her hard, his teeth pulling at her lower lip again. He shifted slightly, and she could feel something building deep inside her just like before. "John," She started before she was cut off with a harsh thrust. This feeling of an overwhelming pleasure took her higher, Julianna couldn't completely comprehend how he made her feel so... good. She started to stiffen as he thrusted on and on. Her body quivered and a sheen of sweat gathered over her. Her thoughts scattered...there was only sensation...only John.. only Julianna. He stiffened.

"Come for me, Julianna" he whispered breathlessly, and she unravelled at his words, exploded around him as she climaxed and splintered into a million pieces underneath him. And as he came, he called out Julianna's name, thrusting hard, then stilling as he emptied himself into the condom. The feeling of warmth filled her as she cried out in surprise and pleasure. She was still panting, trying to slow her breathing, her thumping heart, and her thoughts were in riotous disarray. She opened her eyes, and John had his forehead pressed against Julianna's, his eyes closed, his breathing ragged. John's eyes flickered open and gazed down at her, dark but soft. He was still inside her. Leaning down, he gently pressed a kiss against her forehead then slowly pulled out of her as she winced at the unfamiliarity. 

Did I hurt you?" John asked as he lay down beside her propped on one elbow. He tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. She had to grin, widely "You are asking me if you hurt me?" He smiled sardonically and rolled his eyes. "In all seriousness, are you okay?" His eyes were intense, probing, demanding even. She stretched out beside him, feeling loose-limbed, her bones like jelly, but relaxed, deeply relaxed. She grinned at him. She couldn't stop grinning. She had no idea what her body was capable of - that it could be wound so tightly and released so violently, so gratifyingly. "I'm fine" She answered "And um thank you." She blushed. He opened his arms for her to snuggle into which she immediately did. He held her tight. "Now I've found you, my Julianna, I'm never letting you go."


End file.
